being 30 self reflect

Can't believe myself that I'm already 30 something. I spent my 20's with so much to do's and  achievement in mind. I'm grateful that some of them passed like I wished for, yet there are also many wishes didn't pass as I expected them to be. It only proves to me ,no matter how hard I tried, everything that happen is beyond on my control.

Again I saw that under the sun the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, nor bread to the wise, nor riches to the intelligent, nor favor to those with knowledge, but time and chance happen to them all. 
Ecclesiastes 9 : 11

I still remember clearly.. it felt just like yesterday, I cried so hard ,just a few hours prior turning into 21 years old. There actually no any major problem. But I was overwhelmed with extreme fear of unknown future and not ready yet to become a full adult with responsibility. The last thing I did in my pitch black bedroom with tears on my cheek was pray. Praying that I'll be able and gain strength to face tomorrow. 

Fast forward today. If I can go back and say to my younger self, I would say to her that it's okay to be unsure in life. In this life you'll face many tribulation be it as 30, 40,.70 years old or even on the last breath of your life.  take heart ,to always hold onto the Truth who already overcome the world and enjoy your lot in every season of life.

And that's sums up that after all, Faith is reason that keep me alive , to move forward. A reason to live. From yesterday, and today onwards. 

vivere Christus est, et mori lucrum

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